So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
