Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
