3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
