um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
