i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
