I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
