He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
