Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize