so that wasnt chicken after all
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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