The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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