is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
sex in a hospital.. check
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
