Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
