ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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