North Korea, Best Korea!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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