Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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