I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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