It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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