I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
