I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize