We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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