Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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