508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Be still, my beating vagina.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
