I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
should my penis look like a turkey
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
