Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize