I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
