you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm always down for nudity.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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