Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
