I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
