A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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