There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
