She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
