It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
