I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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