No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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