Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
