No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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