Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
well you can't waste a boner
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize