Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
