I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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