I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
