We had to coat check the pizza.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
