i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
