So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
