I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
