it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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