I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
