You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
