in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Randomize