To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
