I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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