try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Randomize
