i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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