I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Randomize
