Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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