pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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