i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize