My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize