wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
