She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
