New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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