You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
