I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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