Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize